A brief sample essay on parenting and children’s health experience

There is no one-size-fits-all standard. Balancing the mainstream scientific consensus with the individual characteristics of children is far better than blindly applying any "authoritative formula". Excessive anxiety is more harmful to children than occasional "irregular maintenance".

When my baby first started primary school, he started to cough in the middle of the week. I read dozens of popular science articles during that time. One moment I believed the evidence-based pediatrician’s advice to “keep a cool belt and go outdoors more often to build up immunity.” The other moment, the elders at home told him, “It’s just cold, so don’t go to kindergarten for cross-infection.”

In fact, there are two parallel schools of thought in the field of children's health. There is no absolute right or wrong: one is the evidence-based medicine school. All maintenance methods must correspond to clinical evidence. For example, if the fever is above 38.5°C, use antipyretics. Children under 1 year old cannot eat honey. Complementary foods should be added in order. Following the general direction can avoid many fatal pitfalls, such as folk remedies to reduce fever and random supplements for children. I followed this standard from the beginning. The other school is the experience-based maintenance school. Many old people’s teachings of “looking at the tongue coating to judge digestion” and “wearing one more piece of clothing than adults” are not all rubbish. The essence is the practical experience summed up by ordinary people in the past when there were no modern medical conditions to adapt to children with ordinary physiques. My mother brought me up according to this method, and I rarely got sick when I was a child.

I've been stuck on evidence-based standards before. Last winter, my baby had a fever. When the temperature reached 38°C, he couldn't open his eyes. He even vomited once. The temperature was not supposed to be high enough for administration. I panicked and called the deputy director of pediatrics, who I knew well. They laughed at me, "It's hard to get stuck in the temperature. Antipyretics are supposed to relieve discomfort. Give them to the child when he's not in good condition. There's no need to wait for the 0.5°C." After I was given the medicine that time, my baby felt comfortable and recovered quickly. Since then, I have no longer bothered with the "standard line" on the Internet. No standard is as important as my baby's current condition.

In addition to illness care, there are also various opinions on daily feeding. I used to believe that "self-feeding is the right thing to do. Top-feeding will destroy the child's digestion ability." I trained my baby for half a month. As a result, he ate a meal for half an hour, and the food was cold before he could take two bites. He lost a pound in half a month. My best friend’s baby is even more interesting. He has had a weak spleen and stomach since he was a child. According to popular science, he should eat more cold fruits and vegetables to reduce internal heat. However, he would suffer from diarrhea as soon as he ate it. Later, he went to a regular Chinese medicine doctor for half a year and ate more warm foods. But now he rarely has gastrointestinal problems.

In fact, the WHO's "Health Guidelines for Children Aged 0-5" has long made it clear that the universal growth standards are only a reference. As long as each child's growth curve is stable within his own range, there will be no problem. There is no need to compare height and weight with other children, and there is no need to force children to eat in order to make up for the "standard intake." I followed the trend and bought a bunch of DHA, lutein, calcium, iron, and zinc supplements for my baby. Later, the child care doctor looked at my baby's food records and said that as long as she has enough milk and eats normally, she doesn't need to take any supplements. After I stopped taking supplements, my baby's intermittent constipation was cured.

To be honest, my biggest feeling after raising a baby for the past three years is that I don’t have to be a “perfect parent”. It’s not a big deal to give my baby a lollipop occasionally, forget to add clothes in winter, or panic when I have a fever. If you relax and pay more attention to your baby’s reaction, it will be more effective than any health rules. When you are really unsure, go directly to a regular hospital to find a pediatrician. Don’t blindly trust the folk remedies on the Internet and the “exclusive experiences” of Internet celebrity bloggers. This is the most stable way.