Children's Mental Health Class

Children's mental health classes are never ideological sermons that teach children "not to cry" or "be cheerful", nor are they "paper tasks" used to assess psychological problems on campus, but are "life tool classes" to help children learn to identify emotions, accept themselves, and deal with difficulties. Its core goal has never been to cultivate "perfect children without negative emotions", but to allow every child to have the ability to get themselves back on track even if they encounter grievances, frustrations, and malice.

During the two years when I worked as a school social worker in the Pearl River Delta, I saw many psychology classes that were not taken at all: there was a Chinese teacher who took the place of class, and the whole class read "How to be an optimistic and good child" according to the PPT.； One psychology class was turned into an ideological and moral class. After watching the animation of Kong Rong giving up a pear, he asked everyone, "Should you give in when a toy is robbed?" What impressed me most was that a little boy raised his hands and shouted the loudest, "You should give in." After class, he turned around and pushed the classmate who snatched his rubber in the corridor. He staggered and said through gritted teeth, "I have tolerated you three times." To put it bluntly, this kind of class is to read a health manual to people who have a cold. Everything is correct between the lines, but it is of no use at all.

In fact, academic circles and front-line practitioners have been arguing for several years about how psychology classes should be taught, but there is no unified conclusion. Researchers in the cognitive-behavioral school believe that it is necessary to give children practical tools, such as teaching them to use the "emotional four-color card" to classify feelings: red is angry, blue is sad, yellow is happy, and green is calm. When they encounter emotions, report their own color first, and then find a way to solve it. ； When encountering conflicts on campus, directly teach the "I statement" expression: "I am very angry now because you robbed my things, please return them to me immediately." I have tried this method with third-grade children before. When a child got into trouble with his deskmate, he ran to my office holding a red card and said, "Teacher, I am in red now and need to calm down for five minutes." It was much more effective than crying and taking action whenever they disagreed.

However, practitioners who hold a humanistic point of view feel that these tools and restrictions will restrict children. The core task of psychology classes is to create a safe and judgment-free space so that children can dare to tell the truth without giving any "correct answers" at all. I also tried this model. I opened an "Emotional Whisper Mailbox" for my fourth-grade children. They didn't need to sign, and they could write anything. One child inserted a note saying, "I think my mother only loves my brother, not me. Sometimes I want to throw away all my brother's toys." I didn't check it. Whoever wrote it didn't teach the principle of "loving your younger siblings" in class. He just read the note anonymously and said, "It's normal to have this kind of thinking. Even brothers and sisters will sometimes feel favored. This does not mean that you are bad, nor does it mean that you are petty." More than half a month later, a little girl who was usually very introverted took the initiative to come to the psychology room to find me. She rubbed her hand against the door frame and said, "Teacher, I wrote that note about my mother's partiality. I feel less sad now." You see, sometimes no tools are needed, as long as the child knows "my feelings are allowed", most of the problems have been solved.

Nowadays, many parents complain that "psychology classes are a waste of time. It is better to take two more math classes." To be honest, if I encounter a psychology class that is only taken twice a semester, once to prevent drowning and once to prevent fraud, I would also feel that it is a waste of time. There are also many schools that regard psychology classes as "scapegoats." Once a child has emotional problems or conflicts with classmates, the first thing he or she will say is "How did the psychology class come about?" This is purely unreasonable - psychology classes are not a universal vaccine, so how can a few sessions cure all diseases?

The best class that impressed me the most was when I went to a primary school in Hangzhou for exchange last year. The theme was "My Little Shortcomings". The teacher did not let everyone come on stage and say, "What shortcomings do I want to correct?" Instead, he gave everyone a cloth bag embroidered with a little tiger, and asked everyone to put a small piece of paper with their own shortcomings in it and put it in the "shortcomings locker" at the back of the classroom. After that class, a little girl with braids pulled my sleeve and said softly, "Sister, I put the note saying 'I failed the math test' in it. I finally don't have to think about being a stupid kid every day."

Of course, this does not mean that psychology classes have no boundaries at all. When it comes to bottom-line issues such as campus bullying and self-harm, we will never be ambiguous. We will definitely tell the children clearly: when someone hits you, you can fight back or run away. You don’t have to go to the teacher first. Your safety is always the first priority.； If you feel that life is boring, be sure to tell the adults you trust around you that no matter what happens, there is a solution and that you are more important than everything else.

Having worked in the field of child psychology for almost 8 years, I still dare not say what a "standard answer" children's mental health course is, but I know that the most useless kind is always a course that tells children "what you should be like" and "what you can't be like" from an adult's perspective. After all, the purpose of these classes is never to put all children into the same "cheerful and optimistic" mold, but to let every weird little kid know: your emotions are not wrong, your feelings are important, and even if the sky falls, there is a place where you can cry with confidence, and after crying, you can jump to buy your favorite strawberry-flavored popsicles.