Allergies in adolescence: What to do if your child doesn’t want to avoid food

When faced with adolescent children with allergies who refuse to eat food, the most useless thing is to impose a hard ban and talk about it every day. The core is to change "I want to avoid" into "I want to avoid". Forced control can easily trigger rebellion. Many children secretly expose more allergens, turning mild allergies into chronic ones.

I have been doing health education in children's allergy clinics for almost 6 years, and I have seen too many families stuck at this level: many parents' view is "I am doing this for your own good, and you must be strict, otherwise you will be the one to suffer when allergies develop." Families that really strictly enforce this will either have their children secretly eat the food and not tell them about the allergy, or they will directly confront the parents and eat even though they know it is uncomfortable, just to bet on the smell. I just gave birth to a 14-year-old boy with urticaria last month who is moderately allergic to milk protein. His mother has been keeping a close eye on him since elementary school and has not allowed him to touch milk tea, cheese, or ice cream. But when he was promoted to junior high school, he wanted to save face. His classmates kept making appointments to drink milk tea. Every time after drinking, he would feel itchy all over his body. He didn't dare to tell his parents.

That’s not to say that parents’ concerns are unreasonable, especially for severe allergies that may cause anaphylactic shock. If you let it happen casually, it will be too late to regret if something goes wrong. In fact, this is not a binary choice between “total ban” and “total release”. You have to first figure out what your adolescent child cares about most - it's not "you'll get asthma when you get old" as you said, but whether the acne marks on your face won't go away, whether you can run around playing basketball, whether you'll look weird when hanging out with your classmates, and whether your eyelids will be swollen when taking pictures. Don't talk to him about the long-term dangers of allergies, but just pull him to see his recent status: "Last week, you were out of breath after two steps in the class race, and you kept sneezing. You were embarrassed to raise your head when the class girl cheered on you. Have you ever thought that it had something to do with the ice milk tea you secretly drank? ”“The acne marks on your chin have been going away very slowly recently. During the last check-up, the doctor said that the inflammation reaction is severe during an allergic attack and the acne marks stay for a long time. Do you want to try drinking less for two weeks? ”

To put it simply, most children are willing to cooperate. I have met a 16-year-old girl who is allergic to mangoes before. The whole family did not dare to buy mangoes before because they were afraid that she would touch them. As a result, she felt like an alien in front of her classmates. She specially ordered a mango pancake to eat, and half of her face was swollen and she did not dare to say it. Later, when I chatted with her, I showed it to her first. She was sent to the emergency room with a severe allergy. She was told that if she really wanted to try it, she should start with a little bit of mango jam. If she only felt itchy at the corners of her mouth, stop immediately. Keep allergy medicine with you. Don't carry it if you feel really uncomfortable. On the contrary, she never took the initiative to touch mangoes again. She said, "I can't make it so that I swelled into a pig's head just to eat it. My classmates were able to smile for half a year after taking ugly photos."

To put it bluntly, this matter is like holding sand. The tighter you hold it, the more it leaks. Adolescent children are always striving for autonomy. You give him part of the decision-making power about taboos. Non-fatal allergies allow him to weigh the risks on his own. For severe and fatal allergies, explain the consequences clearly in advance. Prepare a first-aid pen for him and tell him that this is a guarantee, not a restriction on him. Instead, he is willing to abide by the rules. After all, he is already half a child, and no one wants to feel uncomfortable and make a fool of himself in front of his classmates. If you don't treat him as a child who needs to be controlled, he will be willing to take responsibility for his own body.